The jokes

Why is a white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

The white guy actually did it.

What were the twin towers plains?

God's playing Jenga.

A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

The cemetery is so overcrowded.

People are just dying to get in.

What is the fastest thing in the world?

James Charles when he sees little boys.

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.

I wonder where the bodies are?

Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?

They don't have a dad to check the closet.

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair. 😎

Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.

Only one man came out alive.

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"

Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"

A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.

Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself," she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

‘BJ Titsngolf’

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"

What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has rights.