The jokes

😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped ♿ 👬 👨 👨 gay man can do better than a physically handicapped ♿ bisexual man 👨 👩 👨 🤔 when his 👄 mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe 👄

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.

One day, a priest loses his cock (chicken). He goes to the church and says, "Who has seen a cock?" All the women raised their hands. "No, who has seen a cock that is not theirs?" Half the women's hands went up. "No, no, no, who has seen my cock?" All the nuns' hands went up.

Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?

A: It left him/her/them hanging.

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?

Because they go down so well.

Why is the orphan failing all his classes? He can't do homework.

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?

A small medium at large.

What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?

Oh sheet!

Why did the OREO go to the dentist?

Because he needed a filling. 😂

Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."

A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."

What’s an abbreviation for school in America?

Shooting range.

Jokes just as dead as the victims.

A guy finds a genie.

He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."

"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"