That jokes

There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"

The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"

She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD

Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?

Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.

Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?

Sensei: What is that?

Me: Saw con deez nu...

Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?

Me: What’s ligm...

Sensei: 😈

Me: no no no no

Sensei: Ligma ba...

Water, tastes that one tap in school:

A tier water at 3 am.

S tier.

12 pm water f tier.

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?

Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!

Yo mama so ugly that when she watches "The Outsiders," they become "The Insiders."

You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.

What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.

@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.

Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."