That jokes

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Yo mamma so fat that she like that ocean, we haven't even explored 5% of her yet.

Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.

Yo mamma so poor that when we went on a date, she took off her shoe laces and said "spaghetti."

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?

Ground beef.

What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?

Ground beef.

That's caketasic!

Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?

I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.

What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?

Kid's.

Peter: Curses!

Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Peter: *Crying*

Jacob: Why are you crying?

Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*

Anyone want a free pizza? Because you liking a pizza with toppings that not many people enjoy allows you to eat the entire guilt free pizza, that they said they didn't want and everyone already offered you a slice of.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.