That jokes

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?

A. A Billy Goose.

What do you call a school that can talk?

A school with a face!

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?

Long John Silvers or Captain D's.

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”

That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.

Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.

Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?

Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.

Mom: Did you finish your homework?

Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.

Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.

Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!

Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.

Son: That was cruel!

I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.