That jokes

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!

My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.

Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.

I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.

What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?

The "curry muncher 2000."

There is only one reason why I find women useful.

That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.

Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.

Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!

Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.

Words that have "ho" in them:

Thot

Whore

Asshole

Horrible

Horena (my ex gf)

One day there was a guy who robbed a bank. A customer at the bank while it happened got the police. Who was that? The police said......

It’s a wood hulem.

Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

Yo mama so hairy that bigfoot dated her.

We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly!

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"