That jokes
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."
Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"
You're so fat, that you're fat.
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?
Panera Sed!
What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?
Well, that is DHALicious!
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
Name a shop that racists don’t go to? The black market.
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer!