That jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*

Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"

What do you call a parent that is pregnant?

Buy one, get one free.

Your hairline is so far back that your forehead looks like a growing parasite!

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

What do you call an Asian that was born too early?

Wong Tai Ming.

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?

Neither did she.

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.

How to make an orphan BLEED?

Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.

Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.

Step 3 - Tell them to kys.

Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.

Yo mama is so stupid that she asked how much is a free sample.