That jokes

There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?

Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.

What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?

An airstrike.

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"

She replies with, "These are my headlights."

He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."

So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."

Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"

Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."

"Hola, soy Dora. Do you see the cliff? Say, "backpack." Tell her that we need Amanda. While I push her off the cliff, you will not peek. Did you just peek? Close your eyes, you silly goose." The end.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

Your hairline recedes so far back that it defends your forehead.

What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?

Father-less.

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?

Because she was straight into Jesus.

An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""

"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"

What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?

A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?

The Western Front is domestic violence.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.