That jokes
Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.
Nobody: Aww, that's so sad!
Me: Just like me.
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.
The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."
The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."
Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
Your hairline is so far back that your forehead looks like a growing parasite!
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.