That jokes
Me: Hey, what book are you reading?
Him: "The Twisted Ones."
Me: Uh, I guess that book is pretty twisted.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
Man's got that big bati, you know.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.