That jokes
What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.
"He scratched his face up, detective. That did it."
"Did I do that?"
Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.
Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.
One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.
So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.
The best joke in the world is me.
Don't say that you're not a joke. Jokes have meanings.
Your fay.
Well, you're the thing that sunk the Titanic.
Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.
I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <: