That jokes

When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:

"Looks like I am going back to the future!"

Yo mama eats so much that she spends her whole life on the toilet.

What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?

"That's not my name, but okay, that's cool. My name is Coco, but okay, and I already knew Jayden was a boy who is bi."

Hey anime girl, I hope you know that Jayden is a boy and we got back together.

Hahahaha, you never had a chance, so hahahaha!

"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

Kid: Mom, do trees poop?

Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.

Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)

A Story:

I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

Sequel follows...

It's statistically proven that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.

What do you call that big, useless piece of skin attached to the outside of a vagina?

A woman.

How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

35! Do you have a problem with that?

Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”

The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”

He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.

What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.

What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.

Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.

Friend: Ooo, I see Jessica.

Me: Nice.

Friend: She got some red on her shirt.

Me: Yeah, that's where the Titanic hit her :///

What do you call a male cow that snores?

A “Bull Dozer”.

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."