Test jokes
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
Know the nuclear bombs of the world.
🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb
🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”
🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb
🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing
🇮🇱🧨 what bomb
🇮🇷🧨 just self defence
Me during NWEA tests
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
Don't Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt
You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my V8 engine with the windows tinted Boy, we came from the bottom, got it out the mud Whole block jumpin' 'cause the subs stay hittin'. If they roll up on me, know I keep one tucked (ooh, yeah) Woo Tell them boys come and get me. I be ridin' through the city. Young, rich and I'm pretty. Homie, don't get it twisted. Keep a semi in the hemi (oh) Red cup full of Henny. My hitters come in plenties, for real. You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my Wood grain dash with the matte black finish And it match my shawty with the big ol' butt. Know them boys soft 'cause they got hard feelings. You can try me if you wanna go and test your luck (woo) Tell them boys come and get me (get me) I be ridin' through the city. Young, rich and I'm pretty (yeah) Homie, don't get it twisted (yeah) Keep a semi in the hemi (in the hemi) Red cup full of Henny (yeah, we drinking) My hitters come in plenties, for real. You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my Woo, ooh, woo, ooh, woo, ooh Don't touch my truck (woo, ooh) Don't touch my truck
quizlet.com/211392116/nc-math-2-honors-end-of-year-test-study-guide-flash-cards/
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.
The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.
Little Johnny asks a fireman, "Do you want to see my fire truck?"
So the fireman goes to look at it. Little Johnny tested it. "I got my hat in my fire truck."
So the fireman says, "Last night's alright, but why is it tied up to you wagging?" And he looks closer and sees the string is tied up in knots. He said, "That's nice all right, but why is it tied up to his nuts?"
The little Johnny said, "Well that's my son," and so he yanks on it.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What’s the most positive thing in Africa?
Their HIV test.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.