
Test jokes
Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.
Now I got a 31 on the ACT.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?
"We’ve got a runner!"
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
why the fuck is steam there ????
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
We all know Steven can’t post on here because he can’t pass the robot test.
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
Pool testing 123.
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
