Technology jokes
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.
Can you relate
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.