Technology jokes
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
NASA found water on Mars.
Mars - 1
Africa - 0
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
I just got a text on my cell. Bone be right back ;)
"Room, you on."
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
What is something an orphan's phone does not have?
Home buttons.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.