How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Putting WiFi in the morgue to enable live streaming.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
What’s the difference between video games and my dad?
My dad doesn’t beat me.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What did the rapper say to the computer?
“Yo, stop laggin’ my FLOW!”
My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.
I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
