Technology jokes
My wife said if I don't get off the computer, she's gonna slam my head into the keyboard, but I think I'll ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhf.
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?
There is sperm on the computer screen.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Why do orphans only have iPhone XR?
Because they don't have home buttons.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.
What was the orphan's first video game console?
PS5 because it has no home button.
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.
Hi, I did not get your email address. I sent you a...
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
You're sponsoring eBay with your hairline.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.