This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.
Why is Roblox so blocky? Because it "ro-block."
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
What pictures did turtles take?
Shell-fies!
Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
Why did the computer catch cold?
It left a window open.
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
Grass is green. I am the queen. If only I can see you scream on the screen.
Things that rhyme with green, queen, screen: clean, between, been, ...
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.
Why don't orphans have Life360?
Because parents won't track them.
Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
What kind of tests do rappers always pass?
Sound checks!
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
