Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
