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Technology jokes

Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.

Hello worstjokesever.com, I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech, ding me a period.

I don’t see what’s coming up, but I don’t know why I am sending, so it will be random or funny or just stupid, LOL. So like and subscribe and...

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.

I saw it through my telescope last night.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4

LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.

DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”

Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.

My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍

Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.

Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(

Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.