Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
Technology Jokes
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
I made a website for orphans, but it didn't have a home page.
I would create an orphan website...
But you need a home page to do that.
(Since somebody stole this joke before) 🤷♀️
I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
Why is the iPhone X best for orphans?
There is no home button.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
