Teacher jokes

My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.

The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.

Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."

Teacher: Where's your homework?

Student: At home...

Teacher: What's it doing there?

Student: Having a better time than me.

We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"

Why was the guitar teacher arrested?

For fingering a minor.

Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"