Target jokes
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
In Israel, they don't have Walmarts; they only have Targets.
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
My ex still misses me... But her aim is getting better every time!
Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:
Kleenex
Depends
Bicycle Helmet manufacturers
Velcro Shoe manufacturers
Steven Hawkings Publishers
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
What's America's no. 1 class?
Target practice.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.