Target

Target Jokes

Bullseye

Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.

I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."

Shooting

Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:

Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.

Orphan

Why does the military recruit orphans?

Because homing missiles don’t target them.

Feminist

What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?

A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.

Bullseye

If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?

Sandwich

People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.

Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!

Drone

What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?

The drone guy didn't know either.

Jail

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

Walmart

Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

Shit

Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.

You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.

Attack

Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.

Walmart

Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?

A: Because there's a Target on every corner.