Take on jokes
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem." - Jack Sparrow
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.