Take on jokes
After 6 months of lockdown,
I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
I teach orphans.
But the problem is I can't give them homework.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
I just killed a family of five.
Now I’m an orphan.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.