Take on jokes

I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

Why is the Moon red today?

The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.

when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.

I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.