Surprise Jokes

I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father “thank you for this moment, have a great night”. At the dance, the girl asks the boy, “can I have some food?” He gladly replies “yes” and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, “thank you so much, I really needed something to eat”. Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, “thank you SOOOO much” Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, “what is it?” She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up. It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.

Unless you are in prison

3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, "u would never believe what i discovered." intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. "oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with," i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "oh sh*t...."

A man gets an email from his doctor

"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tommarrow"

The man thinks to himself "oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"

We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin, I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t got killed yet.

Which Book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible Plot Twist?

-The math Book📘🔢. Suddenly letters 🔠 appear in the calculations...

the twin towers remind me of an emote....bing,bang,boom.

bestfriend @3am: i love you me : love u too *wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*

idk if this is funny

what did the blind kid get for his birtday? Idk he still didnt look

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan nah jit trippin you thought i had one

i had a cake for my gender reveal party, i cut it and the inside was yellow....

When you realize you forgot to mop ur room you hear footsteps 🥋

Once my dad left to get milk then I realized we own a cow.

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy "What's going on here!?" He exclaims. The wife replies "See, I told you he was stupid."

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there. Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.