Supermarket

Supermarket Jokes

Kid

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

Wife

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

Wrist

My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.

“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”

I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.

Found out I’m worth $3.97.

Emo

There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.

Emo

What happens when an emo goes to the grocery store? The cashier scans their wrist too.

Mask

They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.

They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.

Orphan

Why do orphans hate any milk?

Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧

Wife

Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."

Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.

Half

I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

Orphanage

What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?

People actually want stuff in a supermarket.

Michael Jackson

What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.

Dad

My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.

He never came back.