Superhero jokes
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.
Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."
Batman vs Superman?
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
Sixteen Sodium particles walk into a bar, followed by Batman.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they would be great ALLOYS!
I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
Why did Frozone have a headache? He had brain freeze.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.