I accidentally walked on the Lego Batman mask.
I want my fucking feet back!
Why did Frozone have a headache? He had brain freeze.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
Why doesn't Batman have super vision?
His parents died.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
