Superhero jokes
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
What do superheroes put in their drinks?
Just ice.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
Yo mama so fat that when Thanos tried to snap her out of the world, he couldn't do it, so instead, he clapped her out of the world.
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
Orphan: I want to be like Batman.
Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
What is a superhero’s 🦸♀️ favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
I'm Batman.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
What is Thanos's favorite video game?
Pokémon Snap.
Iron Man dies.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
Knock knock. Hwoo's there? Far from home. Hwoo's far from home? Spider-Man.