"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."
-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. π€ π
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
Wow, that is so sunny!
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
Why do planets circle the sun?
'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.
Timmy has 5 apples.
His train is 7 minutes early.
Calculate the mass of the sun.
Have you heard about the tanning Olympics?
Everyone wanted bronze! (This is a lil cringe.)
Yo mama so fat, she went outside and became the sun.
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
WHY IS THE SUN RED TODAY?Turned Red Today. Here's Why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.
