Sun jokes
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
What did the girls on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
"Could you move? Your sun is in my son."
What protects clowns from the sun?
A bozone layer.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
Why is Mercury so hot? I know, because the sun is killing Mercury.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."
You look tall for being 432,450 miles tall!
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.