Suicide jokes
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
Name 1 way to decrease overpopulation:
Get rid of all the suicide prevention lines so the suicidal people can kill themselves.
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
Me die.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
What did the tree say to the depressed kid?
"Stop hanging around."
People love you.
Don't die.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.