I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?
Because he is nuts about them!
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
All of them suck.
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
I am gay, is that ok?
I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.
Why did the NBA remove the glory hole from the men's locker room?
Too many black basketball players sucking too many white cocks before the game.
Gay people would suck at war.
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
Dick sucking.
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Big pp suck sook.
So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"
