Suck

Suck Jokes

Contest

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

Hiker

Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.

The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"

Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."

Dwarf

Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?

Because he is nuts about them!

Cancer

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

Pedophile

How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?

They spray paint it like candy 🍬.

Wind

Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?

Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!

Gay

I am gay, is that ok?

I be on top sucking dick all day. I make him bust every day.

Glory Hole

Why did the NBA remove the glory hole from the men's locker room?

Too many black basketball players sucking too many white cocks before the game.

Vampire

Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?

He thought his son sucked!

Physicist

A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.

Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.

Orphan

Why do your orphans not drink beer?

Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.

Cat

People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.

Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.