Stupid jokes
Why can't blind people eat fish? Because it's sea food.
The joke about is stupid.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy? Deer balls. They're under a buck.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Q: Knock, knock? Who’s there? A: Boo. A: Boo who? Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEE!
Why can't you starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there.
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"