Stupid jokes
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Wanna hear a joke? You.
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAANNNNDDDDEEEEEEYYYYEEEEEE!
Q: Knock, knock? Who’s there? A: Boo. A: Boo who? Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
Asian without "As" is just sin.