Stupid Jokes

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.🥁

Two guys are on the playground one guys says too the other “did you know that Hellen Keller had a play ground in her backyard” the other guy said “no” the first guy says “neither did she

He: "Do you smoke after sex?"

She: "I don't know. I've never looked."

What's large, grey, and doesn't matter? An irrelephant.

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

I recently got kicked out of a casino because i apparantly misunderstood what the craps table was for

You can't lose kahoot if you Kashoot the class first

What ended in 1999? 1998

So there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here so take your drink, mates and fuck off." He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense." replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, He's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!". He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink he opens with, "Say aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."

An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said "The choclates are on me!" every one cheerid.

Thank you for reading if you use this on another catagory please give me credit by saying my name at the end. P.s my name is None of your buissnes. Seriously.

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it goo!!

Why can't you starve in the desert? -- Because of all the sand which is there.

What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasuuubi

There were three indians that got kick out of the tride. One said "me find food" and he came back with a decent size rabit. The other two asked him what happened he said "me see rabit me shoot rabit and rabit fall down dead. The 2nd indian "me find food" he came back with a good sized deer the other two asked him what happened he said"me see deer me shoot deer deer fall down dead. The third indian said "me find food" he came back crwling mising a leg and an arm and he was all cut up the others anded what happened he said "me see train me shoot trai train no stop