Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
I recently got kicked out of a casino because i apparantly misunderstood what the craps table was for
You can't lose kahoot if you Kashoot the class first
What ended in 1999? 1998
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it goo!!
Why can't you starve in the desert? -- Because of all the sand which is there.
what did the big chimney say to the little chimney “ your to young to smoke”
How do you leave an idiot in suspense - ill tell you tomorrow
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasuuubi
yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper
Why do people shake ciggrate boxes? To wake up the cancer
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building? -- Catching it with a pitchfork.
What did the shoes say to the pants? SUP, BRITCHES!
Why did the football coach go too the bank? To get his quarterback!
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might DRUM up and appetite
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didnt they warn us.
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!" ... Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
What does a sponge do? It talks to Patrick.
