Student jokes

Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?

Bring them young.

Teacher: How much is a gram?

Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

What do you call an Asian who gets a B?

It's not a B-sian.

Dead.

Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!

Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students' attention... that one kid with epilepsy...

What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.

Why did the orphan fail all his classes?

He couldn’t do his homework.

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

Is that my student?

Na! It is Jesus!

What do you call a student in space?

An astrodent.

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

Why did the girl bring the ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”