Street jokes

I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.

I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!

What's Jeffrey Epstein's favourite vegetable?

The retarded kid down the street.

I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.

The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.

I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?

So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.

What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?

A pot-hole.

Why did the rapper apologize to the sidewalk?

He didn’t mean to SPIT that hard.

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.

Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...

"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"

I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.

(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.

(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.

Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."