Street jokes
I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
What did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. 😂😂😂
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?
"I got stuck in a butt crack!"
What is the difference between a tree and "walk walk" home from a tree house? 🏠
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.