Street jokes

Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?

A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.

I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

I am so disappointed in this race.

Brown skinned street shitters, goddamn, the lowest of the low southeast Asians, lazy monkey pig-dog duck fetus eating rice brainlets always on their phones, no IQ, ugly, uncivilized untermensch subhumans.

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always follow the street signs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because why not?

Why can't homeless people buy a house?

'Cause they live on the streets.

Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?

A: Home to see their mama!

Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!

Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?

Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!

Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!

Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???

Me: Yea

If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.

Two lepers meet on the street.

First says "How are you doing?"

Second says "Mustn't crumble!"

Why did the joke cross the street?

A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?

B: Why?

A: Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Not Sally.

Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?

B: I don't know, why?

A: Because Sally was driving the car.

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.

What did the lampost say to the other lampost?

Nothing, because it can't speak.

Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?

He didn’t; he never did.