Stop jokes

Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.

I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"

Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

Me: Hey, are your parents here?

Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!

Gwen, don't worry, everyone hates you, by the way! Have anything to say? Then who cares? You can't stop me.

Unknown person is going to give you a hint of who hates you...we were in a club, a meeting...btw this is you!

[Image of Gwen]

Later, Bitch!!!!!!!!

What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.

Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.

How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.

I will stop making fun of orphans when their parents come back.

Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?

From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.

Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.

Oh . . .

:(

Continue.

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.

The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.

After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.

Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"

An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman and falls in love with her.

Man: "Hey, cute lady!"

Woman: "Leave me alone, you ugly two-faced man! I already have a boyfriend."

Man: "Not for long!"

And then the man shoots the woman's boyfriend.

Woman: "How dare you murder such a beautiful man!"

Man: "Now you shall be my girlfriend."

Woman: "Never."

And then the man takes the seat that the woman's boyfriend was sitting in before.

Man: "You look like a dream."

Woman: "Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder."

Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly women? Bleuch!"

Woman: "What's it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men?"

And then the man orders flowers and candy.

Bartender: "We don't serve flowers, or candy."

And the man shoots the bartender.

Another man can't believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man and throws him out.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.

Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.