Stop jokes

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?

The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!

And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.

B: Can you please stop roasting me?

A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.

Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...

Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.

How to get rid of your depression:

1. Stop self-pitying.

2. Realize you can't.

3. Fucking deal with it.

You're welcome.

What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.

2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.

Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?

Stop imagining!

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"