Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?
Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.
Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only Juan.
