How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?
The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
School reminds me of a penis. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?
The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
