What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
Your mom is fat.
Oooo, roasted!
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
