Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking jokes

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?

'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.

What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?

"Windows Shut Down."

What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.

Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?

She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?

Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.