40+ Best Statistics Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

Depression

Greengrass · 6 years ago

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: Seeing others happy.

Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?

Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.

Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.

Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...

Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?

Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".

Obesity

Creed (shit isnt availabe) · 4 months ago

The image is a meme with text at the top stating: "Statistics: 'Mexico has a higher number of obese people than America' Americans:". Below the text is a photoshopped image of Leonardo DiCaprio from the movie Django Unchained, edited to appear very overweight, laughing while holding a small glass of liquid.

Statistics memes

People

Anonymous · 5 years ago

It's statistically proven that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

Population

aye · 7 years ago

China has a population of a billion people. One billion.

That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

Marriage

Anonymous · 9 years ago

New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.

Survivorship bias

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An image displaying a tweet from "Liberal Hegemony Enjoyer" showing a diagram of a World War II era bomber plane. The plane is covered in numerous red dots, indicating bullet holes in areas like the wings, fuselage, and tail, but not critical areas like the engine or cockpit. Below this, there is another tweet from "John Rich" which reads: "I have yet to meet someone who regrets being unvaccinated. How about you?"

Subscriber

Anonymous · 2 years ago

🥺

A screenshot of YouTube analytics, showing views at 6.4K, watch time at 73.4 hours, and subscribers at +129. A graph shows view spikes, and a list displays the top content with view counts: 'ly' at 427, 'Bangs' at 315, and 'I'm gonna miss you this sum...' at 41.

Survivorship bias

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A black bar at the top contains white text that reads, "Ea-Nasir sold shitty copper." Below this, on a white background, is an overhead line drawing of a twin-engine airplane. Numerous small red dots are scattered across the plane's wings, fuselage, and tail, representing bullet holes. There is a visible concentration of these dots on the outer parts of the wings and tail, with fewer dots appearing on the central fuselage and engines.

Chance

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾 · 2 years ago

A light gray cat with a furrowed brow looks at a "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" style question. The question reads: "If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance that you will be correct?" The possible answers are: A: 25%, B: 0%, C: 50%, D: 25%.

Death

Cahyani Ambara · 3 years ago

Death

The top panel of the image shows a smiling blue character named Four with an adjacent character standing on a bench. Below this panel, there is text that reads, "Dying is not allowed." The bottom panel shows a live news report with a graph showing a sharp downward trend. At the bottom, the text reads, "BREAKING NEWS" and "DYING RATE DROPS TO 0%"

Abstinence

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of an app tracking abstinence from smoking/vaping and pooping. The smoking/vaping abstinence time is 365 days, while the pooping abstinence time is 12 days.

Duck

Evil Duck Lords Of America · 1 year ago

A photo shows several white ducks standing on a green grass field. The text on the image says: "Quick animal fact #38. Less than 5% of ducks have attempted world domination."

Fact

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a revolver with one bullet loaded. The text above the gun says "Fun fact: 5 in 6 people finds russian roulette completely harmless."

Internet

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

perfect stats

The image shows four boxes with numbers. From left to right: "Jokes" with the number 15 below it, "Memes" with the number 1100 below it, "Posts" with the number 222 below it, and "Comments" with the number 18750 below it.

Graph

Anonymous · 2 years ago

No offense, but…

The image displays a graph showing crime statistics by race using animal characters in water, with an Asian character nearly submerged, a Latino character slightly more submerged, a White character almost fully submerged and a Black character as a tall giraffe barely in the water. The text on top says: "Crime statistics on a graph." The races are labeled underneath: "Asian, Latino, White, Black."

Statistics memes

Community talk

αmy

someone help me with probabilities

Wade

87% voted on the poll for May to stop whining, data don't lie

EnochTyr

Randomness