Survivorship bias jokes

The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.

There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.

How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.

Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...

My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!