Start Jokes

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down global warming starts.

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill, Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill to build this still will take so long, Jill said to Jack well F---k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill.

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.

A middle eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show, he starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?

A walkie-Torquay

Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!

little Johny asked teacher wy you where no shirt teacher sys because i want to teacher drops her pencil and picks it up the class starts laughing what so funny a kid took of your ba and we see your squish sexy boobs

There was a dog in the middle of the room so i called it and started to play fetch, then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it but it was tasty

Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything and person #2 orders a chili.

Person #1: Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?

Person #2: No you can have it.

Person #1: Ok, thanks...

Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.

Person #2: That’s about as far as I got too!

Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish so he started to yell out lil fishy lil fishy lil fishy they called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer. One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. ̈I will go ask God! ̈ So, he asks God, and God chuckles. ̈You are what you are! ̈ The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, ̈What is wrong? ̈ The zebra answers, ̈Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied ́You are what you are! ́ ̈ His friend says, ̈Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said ́You is what you is! ́

How do you start a rave in Etiopia? You put food ceiling and they start jumping.

Dark Jokes R Like Pupies:

Once they come out they r trash but one it starts to get older that’s when it’s noticed but when it gets to old u either proclaim it dead or never talk about it

( I would never do dat though I love pupies )

did know that girlfriend at the end it starts with an end so does boyfriend and friend have end at the end of it but family at the end it ily i love you

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person "are you ok" because the next day they'll either be died or have a lot more cuts than they started to those who are dead now was it fun?

sing I was riding my bike down the road! When a car started comin, I started runnin It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass. ;)

Hey guys, its Hailey here.

Ima start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake. We can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, You won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the rool, and then I said; "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"