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Karaoke

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

Orphan

I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"

He started crying.

Orphan

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

War

A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!"

Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*"

Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"

*Insert me starting a war in the comments*

Orphan

Why do orphans start fights?

Because they don't get in trouble at home.

Home

In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.

Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.

Funeral

I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂

Hooker

This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"

Funeral

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Music

What happens when the music note starts to misbehave?

Then he gets into treble!

Washer

When the washer started running, why did you join me?

Because I had to catch it.

Rapper

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

For when it started RAINING RHYMES.

Rapper

How do you know if a rapper is hungry?

They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.

Emo

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

Friend

My friend dreamed of being a porno star.

He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.

The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!