Stand jokes
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 💶 💶 💸 💶 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰💰 👍 👍 👌 👌 😍 😍✌️✌️ 🌭 🍌 🕳
👨 👨 What does the initials GOP stand for?
👬 Gay man On Penis.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
What does the F in orphan stand for?
FAMILY 😭😭
*IT'S DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.