Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor? Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap. Son: But Daddy, I'm blind. Dad: Exactly.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Why do gay people only stand crooked? Cuz they can’t be straight.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 🪙 💶 💶 💸 💶 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰 💰💰 👍 👍 👌 👌 😍 😍✌️✌️ 🌭 🍌 🕳
👨 👨 What does the initials GOP stand for?
👬 Gay man On Penis.
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
What does the f in orphan stand for- FAMILY😭😭 *ITS DEPRESSING THIS PAGE EXISTS*
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
