A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Spy Jokes
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Why do asses make terrible spies?
Because they always CRACK under pressure.
President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon.
Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
What do you call a sneaky SCP-096?
The Spy Guy!
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."
What was Helen Keller's favorite game when she was a kid?
I spy.
What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?
I spy.
What similarities do peeping Toms and spies share?
They both see things they shouldn't.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
Kobe played I Spy and he said, "I spy a mountain."
James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
